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Article Source: the Mail onlineCouples who think they're not measuring up because so many celebrities boast about sex sessions that last all night can take some comfort.
Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.
In fact, shows such as Sex And The City and Desperate Housewives have created unrealistic expectations of bedroom performance that can only lead to disappointment.
Ten minutes for sex? Have these people ever heard of foreplay?
Real foreplay takes hours. Real foreplay is romance. Like dinner, like watching a movie and talking about it. Joking around. Whatever works for the couple. We are all different when it comes to the romance part.
I've been married now for 24 years. Learned a bit about all of this. And I would say 10 minutes is probably optimum for actual sex.
Hmmm. If I smoked, the after sex cigarette would last longer than ten minutes. I don't know many women who can achieve an orgasm in that amount of time. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
I guess if they just mean sticking it in going and probably ignoring the womans needs. Definitely think they left out the whole foreplay experience, which should be a must LoL Just touching, feeling, and kissing before the actual sex can take up some time.
I don't know many women who can achieve an orgasm in that amount of time.
They can if you've taken the time to romance them first, and then if you do it right for them. It takes time to learn both parts well.
Ten minutes is all business and no pleasure in my opinion, Lana. When I was a teenager, 'combing my hair' in the bathroom took longer than that. Just sayin'.
Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity
Need? I like taking a hour or two or three.
sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory
Yeah sure. For a quickie...which usually results in 1 of 2 people walking away smiling.
I don't know many women who can achieve an orgasm in that amount of time
Now you know another one...I require effort!
Dar,
You are a woman after my own heart. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy 70's song, I say love takes time.
10 minutes is not long enough to savor the shear pleasure of it all. If you can make it last longer why wouldn't you want to?
10 minutes is not long enough to savor the shear pleasure of it all. If you can make it last longer why wouldn't you want to?
Maybe romance has become a casualty of our instant gratification society. Biff, bam, and off to the next thing. Perhaps if coitus were an i-phone app, people would spend more time savoring the flavor.
"Since when is premature ejaculation a man's problem? I had a great time, sorry about you, babe." - Sam Kinnison
Iself do not endorse that perspective.
Is this 10 minutes for the male to have a quickie then, as the female probably gets little pleasure from it? LOL.
Men can get off a lot faster than women can.
I guess if they just mean sticking it in going and probably ignoring the womans needs. Definitely think they left out the whole foreplay experience, which should be a must LoL Just touching, feeling, and kissing before the actual sex can take up some time
Meh, my wife controls the tempo and more or less takes charge, so she's done when she's done - and then we're both done (don't recall watching a clock). Of course, my being deployed away from her for a year at a time helps too.
Perhaps your woman would climax faster if you gave her her own gold MasterCard before engaging in the marital arts.
sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.
Satisfactory?
Hell no! Not for me!
Cripes, satisfactory foreplay alone takes longer than that!
That's not sex; that's a quicky. Quickies are fulfilling too.
Quickies are fulfilling too
Maybe if you're backstage at a Metallica concert.
You are a woman after my own heart.
Is your heart still on the auction block? Can I make a bid? ;-)
At the risk of sounding like a cheesy 70's song, I say love takes time.
Nothing cheesy about it Grim. You are a romantic at heart. That is a rare quality these days.
At one time, I thought foreplay was the part where I was fumbling with my zipper.
One of the many things I learned from practicing the Tao aspects of sex, was that once I got my mind off of the orgasm itself, I became more focused on my time with my Lady. I refer to it as the "journey."
FWIW, I am a Christian and only practice the sex aspects, and some exercising routines, of Tao.
American males are raised to pursue the goal. What is the goal? Get a date and get to the orgasm.
Once I got my mind off the dot, I appreciated the actual intimate time spent together more. It's like losing one sense. The other senses become more heightened.
It is tough to learn to forgo orgasms, every time. But I wouldn't trade the resulting benefits for anything. For me, lovemaking isn't measured in time, as much as it is in terms of exhausting the need to be intimate. But, if I was to apply time, 30 minutes would be considered a "quickie."
According to the Ladies I date, neither would they...
PS. Grimmy: I clipped to "The Gutter Girls." I wanna give my girls a chance to voice their opinion on this! (and don't be surprised if you have plenty of agreement/disagreement!)
Why my group Grimmy... I'm the ringleader there. And we discuss all sorts of weird stuff over there. We'd just rather keep the politics out of it. If you want an invite, let me know. :D
Ok, and I suppose I'll have to have a sub come aboard soon, when I go on maternity leave--you know, just to keep a handle on all the perverts... *well, my favorite perverts, anyway!* :G
I always had the impression that you were a man, baby. Judo chop! But seriously: I really did think you were a man for some reason. I guess it's hard to tell on the Internet.
But seriously: I really did think you were a man for some reason. I guess it's hard to tell on the Internet.
Oh Grim. One word, nuance.
Grimmy: no problemo. I've had plenty of sex changes online--none of my own doing, but I do come across as a bit of a brainy chick (which could be confused for a man, but I wouldn't for the life of me think why that'd be!) (/sarc! ;)
Judo chop!? Is that an asian pork chop cut with a sword? :G *ok, now I'm just amusing myself!*
Oh Grim. One word, nuance.
The word that immediately comes to mind is oops.
The word that immediately comes to mind is oops.
LoL! That should be OOPS!!!
So Global777 - what are you doing tonight???
For there to be quality for both, I say take you time, do it right so both walk away with a smile on their face and love in their hearts.
Ten minutes ain't gonna cut it.
Nicole...
Today is my birthday. Tonight I am being treated to some time with two of my closest friends. :-)
For there to be quality for both, I say take you time, do it right so both walk away with a smile on their face and love in their hearts.
I could not agree more, Nicole...
10 minutes Reminds of a joke my wife told me
Minister talking to a couple asks you have five minutes before the end of the world what will you do. The husband reply "I will make love to my wife". His wife replies "but what about the other four minutes"
Wife told me this joke before during and after sex. so I guess the true amount of time for optimal sex is the time it takes to tell that joke LOL
ten minutes and then swap hands.
Funny Tom, good point you dont want to look lopsided, with one olive oyl arm and one popeye arm. Guess you call it a balanced workout. LOL
Nicole...
Thank You, Beautiful!
We'll schedule that date later... ;-)
sscott, you sound like one of those men who believes no woman he has been with has ever faked an orgasm.
What do I do with the other two hours and 50 minutes? Good thing I have a Kindle.
sscott, you sound like one of those men who believes no woman he has been with has ever faked an orgasm.
They haven't. But it took many years of practice with the same woman, my wife, to master the multiple. The practicing was brutal, but I managed to make it through it. :)
sscott, that's the answer you get with all those men: "they haven't" :)
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel .
TGC; I laughed till I cried when I read this, ROFL!!! "I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me." That is true comedy at it's finest!
1.46, ...That made me laugh, too! ....I think there is more than foreplay involved, speaking as a woman.
Btw, TGC, may I ask, who is that in your avatar? ..one of the bin Laden men? ..I confess to not being very knowledgeable with pics of who's who.
Easy, looks like a really handsome fella. lol...did I pass the quiz?
If I am one of Bin Laden's men, then the answer to your question is yes. Why do you ask?
Grim, I'm not a spy or anything,..really! ;)
I don't generally read the people propaganda magazines and such, so celebrity 'faces' are generally meaningless to me.
I was guessing Osama's brother??
...Your 1.50 beat me.
On your 1.50, 1) I thought you were a woman. 2) I was just curious if your avatar was a well-known person... and was making a guess. I agree with 1.49, he is very good looking whoever he is.
It's me. What proof do you need? I am an American of non-Arabic descent. I scanned the photo from my employee badge.
NO, nooooooooo, nooo! Not him, please? He does business with a Bush....that makes him a pwos-tit-toot! ( I just know I'm gonna pay for this!) hehehehehe, couldn't help it TGC....#1.52 made me do it!
Grim, I can't tell if this is a joke or not. ;)
I ventured the guess because the avatar photo looks slightly familiar.
If this is possibly 'really' you - omg, now I am really embarassed, and sorry if suggesting you were one of the bin Ladens is offensive to you in any way. (I'd better quit while I'm ahead and leave - look what happened to me the last time!! .LOL!)
Couldn't help laughin' my azz off @ that...I can't roller blade that far, rofl. From Florida Keys to Mid-west! Oh, my achin' feet, hahaha, you thought I was gonna say sumpthin' else, huh! I said "azz" so that counts as sex talk - didn't "go off' subject....nanner, nanner.
The photo looks kind of cartoonish because it's laminated, but it's the only recent picture I like. I usually don't photograph well.
No, I don't think it looks cartoonish at all. It's a very nice photo.
I really thought you were a woman from something you said in a post somewhere - don't know where. So, it was natural to assume you were using a fake avatar as many of us do.
I am really sorry for thinking you were one of the bin Ladens. Please accept my apology.
TGC - The luckiest cartoon character in history was married to a sexy redhead. Roger Rabbit. It's starting to thunder here so gotta go and will check in with my fellow viners tomorrow, if possible. Be good and pray I don't get struck by anything....."Alex" leftovers....now, talk sex amongst yourselves, Foclmao!! and as Austin Powers would say, "Yes", Please!
Hmmmmm, what could you have said that would have been deleted...uhhh, something about sex, maybe? Realized the "sex therapists" probably didn't do enough "research" before the decision that 10 minutes was enough.....musta used Rabbits in the testing, lmao!
Oh, Kathleen, I'll leave that up to your filthy imagination. LoL
TGC; My imagination "filthy?", Rofl, it is what it is, hehehe; my imagination and it runs rampant especially on a forum such as this......*thinking of all the ways to......hehehehehe, OK! you outted me!, I am a gutteral girl, lmao. *hoping no one knows I bathe outdoors, ahhhh - what a feeling! Freedom from clothes and I don't let anybody see me so I'm still not 100% fill - thee, but.........can go "there" at a moments notice, hehehe. In the best sense of the situation....oh, btw, did you? find something to put your phallus in? *joking, TGC.
Yes, I admit it...I have fallen over the edge....my brain hurts. *reaching for Motrin....
Ten minutes? Does that include the begging?
I don't even think it includes the time it takes to get her nylons, panties, and bra off.
OK, joke that applies to BayouTurtle, and it last longer than ten minutes, lol. Joke: What is the definition of Jewish foreplay?.........*Jeopardy music playing in background........3 hours of begging!" Now before anyone jumps my case - I'm Jewish, okey dokey? I never make my boyfriend beg.......thinking about him jumpin' my.........case, LMao, and I agree with the "foreplay" comment from "The Grim Creeper' and "Romance" statement "Rodney" made. Leaving those two essential and sensual componants out of love making is a fast road to the wife or husband finding another lover. NOT GooD. Oh, those sex therapists probably never had an orgasm in their lives.....LoL.....Omg, I said the "O" Word......I feel soooo Nasty. I gotta run ya'll cause I gotta find my boyfrien...Rodney, this is all your fault.......Rofl @ your great "seed". No pun intended, oh, brother....
OK - either begging or looking for my wallet - 10 minutes either way...
Kathleen - you're not from Philly, are you? The only girls that ever thought I was funny...
OK - either begging or looking for my wallet - 10 minutes either way...
That was hilarious! Honey please take my gold card...
dar/bayou: I'd better hear a convincing argument in 10 minutes, or that gold card is going in my wallet!! *and then, the mall tends to call!* ;D (I know, I am terrible!)
bayou: I will find any man's lost wallet in 10 minutes or less if it would equal a shopping spree... :D
My ex-wife preferred the doggie style.
I would beg and she'd roll over and play dead. [rimshot] I get no respect...no respect at all.
With doggy style, you can also watch the game at the same time.
she wanted to have sex in the car. She wanted me to drive. I don't even know the guy!!!
no respect at all
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
"I get no respect! My wife is such a lousy cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door!"
Rodney. Who else??
Bayou turtle, ten minutes of begging does NOT count as foreplay.
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
OK, joke that applies to BayouTurtle, and it last longer than ten minutes, lol.
Have you all seen this video? DARE YOU NOT LAUGH! :D
I'm not sure what I just saw, but the female was just laying there -- kinda like my first girlfriend.
Ok, I grant--I laughed hysterically at that video! But I'm impressed--the boy turtle is the one doing all the noise--and that's a face only a mother could love... *hoo hoo!*
OMG That was too funny. I thought only humans and dolphins did it for pleasure! Sounds like the male turtle is having himself a great old time!
It doesn't look like his woman was having very much fun, though.
It's hard to tell. She seems to have this shell around her...
Simplistic Reality;Ok......YeS!, I laughed so freakin' hard and didn't stop even after the video was over.....I give it 2 yodels up! (Jack Nicholson reference about "yodelling in the canyon", (of lust, of course). Gotta say, the female looked like my ex-husband....I did all the top lust - that's why he's my ex. All my exes' live in Texas...lalalalala.....(thinking of that dirty rotten..mumble, grumble jerk.) I'm Free, free free now....
Any "therapist" who says ten minutes is enough, doesn't first; understand female anatomy and the studies that show how much time women need and whyand second, is missing alot in his or her sexual experience.
#4 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:19 PM EDTSome people have spent a lifetime searching for the G-spot, yet a therapist tells us we can satisfy a woman in ten minutes. A man could definitely pleasure himself in less time, but where's the fun in that?
Both of you guys hit it on the head! Hey, you 2 left yourselves open for that, rofl-*dog looking at me strangely....like I've lost my mind? Nope, she needs to go outside. Alrighty then! I've recovered...oh, happy day.
reknight1 - you understand the female anatomy? PLEASE explain it to me - and everyone else, while you're at it.....
TGC - As a former nurse, I highly suggest that every fella and lady take a moment on the web and go to Bing.com and type in KAMA SUTRA and TANTRA along with a side order of learning how to massage each others bodies.......it could be a climactic experience, (that was just a given, a freebie one-liner, laying there just hoping to be had....kinda like a...well, you fill in the blank, LOL) As far as the famous G-Spot goes........um um, goody! (for both)
What is the man or woman in such a hurry to do that he or she would budget such a small amount of time?
#6 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:32 PM EDT10 minutes?? So what do I do for the next 3 hours and 50 minutes until my Viagra wears off?!? I kid ;)
#7 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:39 PM EDTlol...that would really tick the little lady off! Bad enough I gave her less time then I do running the dogs but to play whack-a-mole afterwards.
I can hear Gloria Allred on my answering machine already. :)
If the mere thought of Gloria Allred doesn't take care of your little-blue-pill-enhanced erection, then you have my condolences.
Sorry, she doesn't do anything for me.....Rofl....Butt, hehehe, try 6' 5", or any height, of "twisted steel and sex appeal" and you got it...uhhh, actually, I've got it, thank the good Lord above, lol. The little blue pill really works! For all the pessimists out there. It doesn't raise your blood pressure either but check with your M.D. guys. I just love medical science, don't you?
Is the Rodney you referenced above your boyfriend, Kathleen?
I just wish science will come up with a pink pill for women!
The Grim Creeper; *blushing, no TGC.; Ex-Pat-1776; progesterone is being investigated as to the hormonal high pregnant women get while having sex. There is hope so 'hang' in there....no, I was not talking to your husband, lol. Remember this everyone: Women are stoves and men are microwaves when it comes to making love, having sex, or the other stuff that gets them 'there." (Quote taken from "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus") My suggestion is to open your mouth and..NOT ThaT! now anyway..., ask what pleasures your partner or speak up, kindly, and reveal your desires. Otherwise how is your loved one or one night stand, lol, going to know.
They found the female viagra decades ago - it's called a trust fund....
BT; You did it again! LMFAO!! "it's called a trust fund...."!!!!!
Different strokes for different folks. My GF climaxes in about 10 minutes. I usually use a vibrator on her in addition to penetration for effect. Neither one of us really care for romance we just like to get down to it.
#8 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:51 PM EDTWell, well, well. I guess a lot of the men who do it in ten mins aren't all Superman. They're just normal!
As for foreplay--I like at least 10 minutes. Then we can get to the business. :D
#9 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:07 PM EDTIts confirmed also that I count mine in seconds.
#10 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:11 PM EDTlmao @ "roketboy's" comment......errrr, is that where your name comes...ooppsss...is derived from? Just wondering.
roketboy; I was only joking, hun. As for you, TGC, you could , should you so choose to take the (em-)mission be the "Creeping PhallusBoy." *joking
It is OK Kathy. Still dont know what a Phallus is. Is it fail us or fail him?
1. an image of the male reproductive organ, esp. that carried in procession in ancient festivals of Dionysus, or Bacchus, symbolizing the generative power in nature.
2. Anatomy . the penis, the clitoris, or the sexually undifferentiated embryonic organ out of which either of these develops.
9:59.90 minutes of "foreplay", .00.10 seconds to: "Shoot and *SCORE*.... woo hoo!!! That is, unless ur shootin' *BLANKS... Then bummer:-( Hey, at least I ahve a 10 in mine....LOL
#11 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:16 PM EDTAdad: "Blanks' are good. It's all protein anyway and so much fun to.....well, I'll save that one for another day. But, my hairs soooo shiny! Rofl.....Can't help it..it's the Nursing background in me. OOppps, I keep typing these little innuendos. *spanking both hands.
Grim: I couldn't *HIT* a three-point shot if I was standin' UPRIGHT. Only one ball in an "itty bitty cylinder... I'm a watcher though.
Kathleen: That's good to know. Been snipped.
rocketboy: Well, now I'm just a "pest"...
OK, geniuses - how long does it take the average woman to achieve climax?
Just checking to see how much all you "experts" really know...
#13 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:57 PM EDTHopefully it takes a woman less time to climax than the amount of battery life left in her personal pleasure device.
- Average length of time it takes a woman to have an orgasm: 20 minutes. Average length of time it takes a man: 2-5 minutes.
- Half of girls have had an orgasm by the time they're 16 years old.
- 44% of men say their female partners always have orgasms when they have sex. 22% of women say they always have orgasms when they have sex.
- About 1% of women are able to achieve orgasm solely through breast stimulation.
- 63% of college women say they've had multiple orgasms.
- The G-spot is named after Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, the first modern doctor to write about it.
Do I win, Bayou Turtle?
Sorry, dude - the correct answer is, "Who cares?"
I have always said that I will marry the first woman who laughs at that joke...
Absolutely- you get to buy Kathleen dinner. Then, of course, you end up holding your own...
Lived in Philly for 10 yrs - I know all about the Jewish princesses...just kidding...or not...
BayouTurtle; #12.6 comment - reply. I am NOTa Jewish princess.....did you miss the joke I posted? The other part of your comment; "Then, of course, you end up holding your own..." does not apply either as I love..oh, to heck with it. I'll just tell you what I think. I believe in a woman taking care of her fella but NOT being, nor tolerating being treated as, a door mat. I love to rub RON'S (now you know his name) back and his whole body. That makes us both feel great and he works very hard as he owns his own landscaping business. Then I turn him on his back and kiss him all over and tell him just how much I love and appreciate him. If women would ask their men how they like oral sex, maybe not in those words, they might just get more of what they want. I will tell you this much, ladies, if you treat that part of his anatomy as if, and ya gotta love it to do it right, you were deep throat kissing him on the mouth that would not only blow his mind but you would be in for a VERY different sense of who your with in bed. I love all aspects of making love and so does my guy. He's very tuned into what makes me feel good and you know how? I told him and he listened. *have to stop for a minute....feeling, well, that's my business.......There is nothing better than variance in how you "do it" or where you "do it" - I prefer it outside with NO watchers, thank you. I have been told that men love, adore, pine after, a woman that can not only love them as they are but that they give good non-verbal skills. (and can cook like grand mom) Jerry Hall, Mick Jaggers ex-old lady, put it the best way I know. "Be a chef in the kitchen, a Lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom" now, that term may be offensive to some but what she's talking about is lose your inhibitions. After all that's your fella and if you help them feel reeaallly good they'll give you the time of your life. And if they refuse, dump em fast. I am telling you ladies out there in Vineland this because love and romance are so very important and getting down and dirty sometimes. That doesn't make you a bad person just let go and have fun.
Kathleen - Thank you for that explicit response. As you seemed to have missed it - I was just kidding you.
Sure you're not from Philly? Because you REALLY are A PRINCESS...
I'll take that in the very best sense of the word. I knew you had a chuckle in there somewhere but what I don't let many people in on is my father is half Cherokee and half Scottish, thus the temper and Jewish too, LoL. Sorry I got a bit defensive there. BayouTurtle you're truly a good dude and I hope your love life is very full-filling....darn it..there I go again. OK! My hands are grounded for..oh, 10 minutes...Rofl/lmao.
BT - That's why all the back rubs, lmao. Never in traction except a few rug burns on both of us.....*must not tell all my secrets.......stay covert, I mean covered, hahahahaha.Truthfully, I'd love to have a web-page that dealt with nothing but how people of any gender or orientation could find out and discuss amongst themselves what gets em off the hardest, best, most lovingly.....etc..it's all different, thank goodness. Variety IS the spice of life....1 order of pheromones, palleeasse!
Sometimes short time is good, sometimes long. It really depends on many things.
#15 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 2:44 PM EDTi cant even jack off in 10 minutes
#16 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:16 PM EDTOMG! TGC, you have a funny mind and a twisted one too. But, to more serious matters, I would...that would be fun....but he'ld have to change his name to ......Ron. My mind has been twisted since the 70's so no problem, is there? *checking battery meter in brain...
You know that old pickup line: let's go back to my place and talk about the first thing that pops up.
Gee, I wonder what that would be, Lmao. *getting leather boots out with spiked heels, no whips allowed, btw. Going to.........
I thought your hands were grounded, kathleen. By the way: do you still have red hair or did you make that part up, too?
Haven't made anything "up", LoL. I have dark blonde hair with red highlights (natural). This is getting into the cyber-sex area quick. *my hands wouldn't stay off the comp. Just too much fun.
You said you were joking about being Jewish, so I just wondered how much of your description was a joke.
Oh, no. Not joking about my being Jewish, or Cherokee, or Scottish. To be a Jew the linage has to come from the mothers side. All was too twue and that's why I call myself a messy Jew. Messianic Jew to be precise; one who is born a Jew and believes in Jesus also. Now, back to the 10 minute rule and suggestions and ways to lengthen the pleasure mode for most women and maybe get a giggle outta the guys. I so want to explain the female anatomy to roketboy but that would most likely get me kicked off the "Vine" and that won't happen on purpose. Gotta put my hands to bed,hehehehehehe, with this guy that just pinched me on the butt....lol.....*walking off playing grab azz....*Love all you people and have a safe weekend. Great stuff on this seed BTW. Funny as the dickins'......damn, there I go again!
10 minutes for sex is optimal???? It takes that long just to lay out all the sex toys!
My wife makes me wear out the batteries on the "tongue joy" ( tiny vibrator that attaches to your tongue piercing) before I can stop that's a good 45 mins before we even reach for the next toy.
Oh yeah. It's had it's limit. Are you one of the fabled Gutter Gals?
Not yet but HEK says I qualify.....We have the same birthday!
Is there an initiation to the GG? I was discouraging them from terrorizing Bitey fresh home from the hospital with her open heart surgery--she really shouldn't laugh that hard yet!
Check in on her at http://efucci.newsvine.com/_news/2010/06/25/4563905-im-baaack-and-alive?&threadId=993265&commentId=15113294#c15113294
I don't know about any initiation rituals since I'm a man and not a member.
i cant even jack off in 10 minutes
It takes me longer than that to set up the electron microscope to *FIND* the d*mn thing... then graspin' it with a tweezers is another few minutes... I'm just glad I'm not a horse... all the other horses would laugh at me...
OK here it is, a few have asked what the hell a tongue joy is so here is the link...http://www.tonguejoy.com/ Enjoy!
papaloco: that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.... but it certainly looks interesting! *LOL!*
Grim:
Self-loathing, Adad?
Nope... Just jokin' around... I find human anatomy a hilarious topic...
Ten minutes? When I first met my wife, we had so much foreplay that she was begging for "9 inches and hurt me". So I did her 3 times and pinched her!!
#19 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 7:34 PM EDTnetwork-gal:
Like 3/3/&3?
U have me curious... is that how many breasts u have??? If so, I'm up for adoption;-)
"When I first met my wife, we had so much foreplay that she was begging for "9 inches and hurt me". So I did her 3 times and pinched her!!" I'm a positive thinker. I prefer to think of the Length as being 27, get it....huh, huh. Adad;, that should make the other horses give you some respect, lmao..., if you were one, that is. Mmwahhh.
Sex? I seem to remember something called that........vaguely............long time ago.........back when I was still single.......
#20 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 7:56 PM EDTOUCH! There has to at least be general maintenance RD.....(or alive check!?)
The food that guarantees to ruin the libido?
wedding cake
Occasional self maintenance, just to.....um.....keep the pipes clear.
wedding cake
Wears off soon after the cake is gone though................
R. Donald Snyder; Rx for that problem = D.I.V.O.R.C.E. take 1 time and get out and do someone YOU like...or something rather.......tee hee.
9 inches?
I don't fold it in half for no one
#21 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:50 PM EDTI'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
how come women don't want to cuddle after sex anymore?
they just want to get paid and get out of the car.
I have just as much fun with my 8 inches as you guys do with your big ones though..........
I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!
9 inches?
I don't fold it in half for no one
But u forgot to put the decimal in place...lol .00000000009 inches...hehe
yup, hung like a newborn baby... 8 lbs, 22 inches,
Grim, is it true that there was only one toy mommy couldn't take away when she sent you to your room?
Global:
I'm only 7"... (around)
I can only dream... but I keep gettin' woke up my the same *small* nitemare...
I'd be happy with 10 minutes of sex at this point - I haven't had sex since my divorce 5 1/2 years ago. The other day some friends and I were talking - one of the girls mentioned that she would like a friend with benefits. My reply was I would just like the benefits, friendship isn't necessary :)
Now you're getting the right attitude! Now get out there and find a life that you want and deserve. Keeping your standards too high and expectations out of sight isn't a good place to start but being selective is good!
You and the girls need to go see SeX and the City 2 together. Take a cruise or a trip somewhere new. I'll bet you've been in a rut? Benefits are good!
I'd rather have my eyes gouged out than watch a Sex in the City episode or movie. I was rooting for Sarah Jessica Parker to win the Triple Crown this year.
I was rooting for Sarah Jessica Parker to win the Triple Crown this year.
If it was a photo finish she would have won by a nose
network-gal: LOL, it's been a combination of reasons why it's been so long. I have kids & am a medical student - once I dealt with the divorce and all the crap that goes with that, it's been lack of time that has prevented me from having sex.
The Grim Creeper - I couldn't stand to watch Sex and the City, either.
ADad: I would prefer sex to a box of donuts!
Summer: when it comes to sex and a box of jelly-filled donuts, well, that's a close call for me. *LOL!*
Well, you can't blame me--I haven't had donuts for about 6 months, people!
Summer:
ADad: I would prefer sex to a box of donuts!
Yeah, u and me both... but I gotta practice w *something*... It's the only thing I have found w a hole in the middle... And lucky for me, donuts don't get *pregnant*... Talk about ur safe sex!!! Woo hoo!!!
ADad: *LOL!* So, donuts = safe sex, eh? You naughty thing! :D
LKessler- you'll get a jelly filled donut soon enough :)
ADad, LOL- well the hole in a donut wouldn't do me much good. Also - you just made me think of American Pie.
Lkessler:
ADad: *LOL!* So, donuts = safe sex, eh? You naughty thing! :D
I do the best w what I don't have... A mind and a penis... of any substance...LOL!!! Besides, donuts r yummy after ya dunk 'em in... well, I won't say, cuz it's mixed company...lol
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
#24 - Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:08 PM EDTTGC, why was she ovulating? Or are you fond, or she for that matter, of 3 minute eggs? rofl @ your joke!
*TGC - Which one TGC? Lmao.....*joking.....hoping Mrs. TGC doesn't get upset...Ommm, Ommmm....sitting in Lotus position....*chanting....Mrs. TGC, you have a great! sense of humor.....repeating..100 times...
There is no Mrs. TGC. I just used a fictional character in my one-liners.
*sigh of relief.....was thinking I just may be in for a verbal internet azz whoopin', Lol. Now that I've been duly humbled and afeared outta my shorts...*putting them back on without my chastity belt (that went out the window a while back)....I'm brave again...aren't I? Didn't know if'n their was a Mrs., concerned a bit .....**bed I was referring to was - did you mean mine or his, hehehe.......ouch! don't pinch my cheek. I has bean bad wittle gurl and will b bedder from naow ownn, I pwomiss.
You are quite the feisty young lady, Kathleen. It sounds like I may need to pack a lunch. LoL
Not cutting in Grim, but FWIW Kathleen, I'm ALWAYS packing something...
I'm out.
<who was that masked man?>
Grim:
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and...
slapped my dad... Then he went in and my mom slapped him and he looked down at me and fainted... did I mention I came out a$$ first??? Even back then I had *NO* sense of direction...
#31 - Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:22 AM EDTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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